ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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