I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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