my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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