I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
