Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.