well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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