Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
is wine microwaveable?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
