At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
