Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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