The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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