don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
