he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
