im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
