clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
