and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
