Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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