4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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