so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
