It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
