I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
