Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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