even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You were trust falling into bushes
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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