I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
