in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
