We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
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It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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