i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
