we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
