the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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