What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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