I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
