my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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