Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
my poor anus
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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