It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
