your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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