party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
