she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
