I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize