I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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