Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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