he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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