Already got asked if we're dating
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
