Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think my mom watched the whole time
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
