Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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