I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
