it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
