Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
