Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
