i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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