there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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