There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
