You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
