I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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