I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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