Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.

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(818): View more from California

I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...

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(269): View more from Michigan

Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

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(937): View more from Ohio

What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.

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(516): View more from New York

Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.

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(970): View more from Colorado

The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful

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(207): View more from Maine

That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies

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