lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize