If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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