I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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