i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
