HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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