It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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