Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
