She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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